This next statement is of fundamental importance:
YOU WILL STAND A MUCH GREATER CHANCE OF SUCCEEDING IF YOU USE ALL OF THE FOLLOWING SUPPORT STRATEGIES!
Using support has always been a stumbling block for people trying to tackle their addictions. Addicts, by their very nature, have a strong Tendency to resist support and I have lost count of the times that I have seen addicts relapse because of their reluctance to utilize available assistance. Curious indeed, when you consider that this reluctance can sometimes cost addicts their lives. There are several reasons why an addict may refuse to use support and it is important that you look at Some of these reasons here. If you are one of those people who cringe at the thought of asking for help, you may benefit from exploring the reasons behind your reluctance. Receiving adequate support will in many cases mean the difference between success and failure.
Probably the most common reason for not asking for support is this:
YOU DO NOT WANT TO APPEAR WEAK
Western society has a tendency to socialize its citizens into believing that it is wrong to ask for help, and fosters the belief that individuals should be able to manage on their own. This misconception is in fact quite often the opposite of the reality - it takes strength of character to ask for help and a mature and realistic awareness of ones own personal limitations. Those who are strong enough to ask for help clearly demonstrate a strength of character and commitment to successfully achieving their goals that is missing in those who are too worried about what others may think of them.
A second common reason for not wanting to ask for support is this:
Addicts tend to think that they don’t really need support and that they can manage well on their own.
If you are one of these addicts then consider this - If you know best and don’t need that level of support, how come you are still smoking? There is obviously something missing from your game plan. Your attempts to stop smoking without support have not worked, otherwise you would not be still trying to find a way to stop. Consider this next question carefully if you are a nicotine addict, and feel that you don’t really need support:
What if it is only this missing support that has prevented you from succeeding in the past?
Surely using all available support has got to be worth a try!
A third reason why addicts may be reluctant to seek support:
Addicts have a greater than average tendency to be ‘people pleasers’, and don’t want to ask for assistance in case the person they ask regards them as a bit of a nuisance. They also might be afraid that the person they ask to help them may say no, and then they would have to deal with the discomfort of feeling rejected. They worry about all of this and then come to the conclusion that they don’t really need help and that they will manage well on their own. Let me make it clear now - if you are one of these people you are simply deluding yourself in order to avoid discomfort. Yes, it’s that little ‘voice’ again trying to keep you from feeling discomfort, and to hell with the price you have to pay!
The key message here is that if you are reluctant to seek support that’s OK, it is a normal enough reaction, but don’t let your discomfort stop you from asking, because to do so is to severely reduce your chances of Succeeding.
Everyone who is addicted to nicotine needs support to help them Overcome their addiction and to think that you are an exception to this rule is to fall foul of your own denial. If you find yourself thinking that you will be regarded as weak for asking for help, remember, it is the weak Who are afraid to ask for help. They are afraid of what others may think. It is the strong who ask for help, showing a strength of character that allows them to ask in spite of what others may think.
If you find yourself thinking that you know best and that you can manage just as well on your own, ask yourself this question: “If I am so smart and so self supporting, how come I’m still a smoker?”
If you find yourself thinking that you don’t want to be a nuisance, promise yourself that you will feel the discomfort and ask for support anyway. You know that if the person you are asking is any kind of friend at all they will be only too glad to help you, After all, if they were to ask you, wouldn’t you be supportive of them?
Of course you would. Wouldn’t you be flattered that you were the person they chose to trust with something that could mean the difference between life and death? As you have probably gathered by now, using all the following support structures is of the utmost importance and there is no good reason not to, despite what your little ‘voice’ tries to tell you!
Just before you look at the following strategies, take note that you do not need to remember or act on them straight away. In the last entry of the blog, they will all be summarized in the form of a simple to follow ‘battle plan’.
Know this for certain:
If you choose to use all of the support structures you can be absolutely certain that you will become an ex smoker. If you do not, then you may well smoke again. You have been warned!
The following strategies will, if utilized, make failing to stop smoking even more difficult than succeeding!
